


stay with me (pray that i won’t be alone)

by galactic_enterprise



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Deserved Better, F/M, Fluff, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Protective Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Sad Rey (Star Wars), damnit disney let rey cry, kinda a fix it??, post tros depression, rey cries a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24072445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galactic_enterprise/pseuds/galactic_enterprise
Summary: Rey gets a chance to say a proper goodbye
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	stay with me (pray that i won’t be alone)

**Author's Note:**

> guys it’s 5:30am and i’m still up crying over tros so i decided to write this. i’m gonna edit it tomorrow don’t worry lol

She missed him. 

Even after working 18 hours a day to keep herself busy, at the end of the day, Rey was incomplete. Only one half of a whole. Just one part of the Dyad. Ben, her love, her soulmate, the one who was supposed to make sure she was never alone, was  _ gone.  _ Part of her was angry, because he promised. Promised her that she would never have to be in pain by herself again. (But here she was). She always felt guilty after thinking that, though.

_ He gave his life for her. _

The one person in the galaxy who had ever understood that. No matter how much she tried to keep herself busy, Rey was miserable. The circles under her eyes were dark, her skin slightly sunken in. Even her surroundings appeared dull to her, the normally breathtaking sight of a binary sunset was just bleak. 

Rey was used to overworking herself. 

When she was a young girl on Jakku, she remembers being forced to carry loads for Plutt in the heat, and when she was done the little girl would have to scavenge for food. When Rey left the dreadful planet, her life was just as exhausting (although, it was a much nicer atmosphere. That, she couldn’t deny). Working late to repair the Falcon and waking up early to discuss plans with Leia, it wasn’t easy.

Then, when Rey went to Ahch-To, she found that she hardly slept at all. With her intense physical Jedi training along with her mental exhaustion from dealing with Kylo Ren through their bond, sleep was precious, and she took any chance she got to lie down and let herself drift off. After that, her exhaustion came from her immense stress. Luke gone, Kylo choosing his path away from the light, constantly fighting to just  _ survive; _ Rey was constantly tired, and letting herself fall into a deep slumber was routine.

So after a full day of burying the lightsabers, cleaning up the old Lars household, checking out the nearest trading post, fixing herself a speeder, and starting the clean up of the old moisture farm, Rey was not surprised that sleep hit her almost immediately after she hit her pillow. What she wasn’t expecting were the dreams that came with it.

  
  
  


Rey opened her eyes to a bright, blinding light. 

She was on the ground, soft sand below her. But she wasn’t on Tatooine (and she definitely wasn't on Jakku), no, she was somewhere completely different. A beautiful lake expanded before her as she dug her feet into the hot, white sand. As she looked around, Rey noticed that whatever planet she was on had the prettiest greenery she had ever seen (not that she had seen much greenery, but still, it took her breath away). The air was so clear that breathing it in made her hungry for more, and it felt so real Rey wondered if she was actually there. The most interesting part of her dream, however, was the fact that Ben Solo was sitting across from her, looking straight into her eyes.

Rey didn’t dare move; she was scared that if she did, he would leave her. Again. So instead, she took in his features from a distance. He had a soft blue glow around him, accompanied by the familiar hum of the Force. His wavy black hair fell to his shoulders, and his eyes held a peace in them she had only seen once (right after their kiss on Exegol, though she tried not to think about it). Ben seemed too good to be there, and Rey decided that it must be the Force pulling some sort of sick joke on her.

He looked like an  _ angel,  _ for fuck’s sake.

Something told Rey that this was different from her other dreams about him, that this time he was actually here. She could practically feel the force humming between them, where they both stood frozen. But how could she let herself hope after everything? Getting her heart broken once was more than enough for her.

So when Ben reached his hand towards her to wipe tears off her face (when did she start crying?), and when he took a deep breath and said, “Sweetheart…” in that soft, loving tone of his, Rey finally broke.

Rey fell to her knees, bracing her hands against the ground, sobbing. Her chest physically  _ hurt  _ because he was finally here and she was feeling so many things, mainly a tiny flame in her chest growing. Her vision clouded over, and before she knew it she was standing up and her fists were banging against Ben’s chest, screaming at him in between sobs. Screams of “HOW COULD YOU” and “YOU LIED” and finally a bit softer, after she had exhausted herself and her cries had been reduced to soft trembling, once she was truly limp against his chest, “You  _ left  _ me.” Her voice cracked slightly, the hurt in her voice painfully clear. 

When Rey looked up into the eyes of the man that was holding her, she found tears that mirrored her own. Ben held her tighter with one arm, using the other to caress her face. Once Rey had calmed down, he opened up his mind to her and let her see the pain he went through on Exegol: the terror that took over him when he couldn’t feel Rey’s side of their bond, the agony when he saw her cold, lifeless body on the ground, and the determination when he realized what needed to be done. Rey felt the love from when she placed her hand over Ben’s, and the bittersweet feeling of contentment as he died in her arms. 

“Rey,”

She choked back another sob at the sound of her name from his lips. He was  _ here.  _ Just hearing his voice again was like being sliced with a saber, because deep down she knew he was still dead.

“Rey, I came back because we need to talk. You can’t keep doing this to yourself..”

More tears welled up in her eyes as she clutched him tighter, terrified to let him go. There were so many things to say, so many questions to ask. Over everything, she felt the same unadulterated emptiness she had been trying so desperately to shut out. 

“A part of me died with you, Ben. I can’t keep going on without you.”

Ben looked at her with sad eyes, and he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. For the first time in a few weeks, Rey felt somewhat alive. 

When Ben spoke again, it was with so much love that it brought tears to both of their eyes.

“But you must, sweetheart. I didn’t die so you could sit here and waste your life away. It was over for me, there was no coming back from what I did, and that’s why you had to live. They need you out there, Rey. You have to move on, for me, for the galaxy, for all those confused little Force-sensitive children that need somewhere to belong. You have a purpose Rey, and I refuse to let you wallow in your own despair.” Ben ended speaking with a little smirk, and Rey felt her heart piece together and shatter all over again.

“Ben… I don’t know how. I’m lost, and so alone.”

“I will always be with you, Rey. You will  _ never  _ be alone. I am watching over you, with you. I meant it when I said you’d never have to be by yourself again. But more importantly, there are people out there who need you, need the strong Jedi you are. My beautiful Rey.”

Rey sniffled, leaning into him.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to let go just yet.”

Instead of responding, Ben took her hand and lifted her up, leading her to a building behind the sand. 

“We’re on a planet called Naboo. My grandmother lived here, and served as queen before becoming a senator. This lake house belongs to her family. I thought it was pretty, so…”

Rey looked to see him blushing, and her heart swelled at the sight.

_ He was the one to bring her here in the dream. He did it for her. _

When she didn’t speak, Ben continued speaking.

“My mother brought me here once when I was a kid, although I don’t quite remember what for. However, I do remember seeing the most beautiful waterfalls and grasslands. It’s actually not too far from here, maybe if you would want to…”

“I would love to, Ben.” Rey smiled at him, her cheeks still stained from her tears.

  
  


And so they went, spending what felt like hours with each other. They talked about their pasts, each one telling their own stories that would spark new conversations. Rey was practically on the floor giggling as Ben told her of all the embarrassing yet endearing things he would do as a child. When Rey spoke of her childhood and the horrid things she had to endure, Ben kept a protective arm around her. In between, Rey confessed,

“I don’t think I can ever be with someone else.”

And nothing more needed to be said. Their bond was irreplaceable.

When the time came to say goodbye, Rey was prepared. She no longer was crying, although a heaviness took place in her heart. Ben held each of her hands in his, and looked at her with what could only be described as adoration.

“Promise me you’ll keep living, darling. For the both of us.”

Rey gave a soft smile. As much as it hurt to let go, she understood that she was needed. She was the last Jedi.

“I promise, Ben.”

She looked at him, and without thinking, brought their lips together. They fit perfectly together, matching each other in their passion. It was a short, sweet,  _ meaningful  _ kiss, and when it was over Ben was holding her tight, her head tucked under his chin.

“I will wait for you in the afterlife, sweetheart. I promise that I will see you again, even if it isn’t for a lifetime.”

Rey hummed in response, holding him tighter. Her eyes stung with a few unshed tears, and as Ben faded from her grip, she let them fall.

  
  


When she woke up, Rey was still crying, but a calmness had settled in her, where as before it was chaos. She knew that Ben was with her, and she knew what she had to do. She knew that there were people counting on her, and she vowed she would do everything in her power to save young Force sensitive children like she was. Now, when Rey overworked herself, it was out of love rather than a method to avoid her feelings. She did it for Ben, for her love, even if he wasn't with her cause... 

after all, no one is ever really gone. 


End file.
